Releasing Expectations

Do you ever wonder who you are? Where you pick up the feelings you have about yourself, your abilities as a caregiver, your capabilities to maintain any spiritual practices?

We receive a lot of expectations from those we live with and interact with in our communities. Sometimes those expectations are unrealistic, based on the other party’s ill-informed beliefs about us, about our responsibilities as a caregiver, and about our faith. Most times, those expectations that get unloaded onto our backs say more about the person doing the unloading than anything about us!

Giving up our expectations created by our own fears or the expectations of others created in an atmosphere of non-understanding is hard work. I’m not going to mislead you. This is the sort of work which takes steadfast prayer and listening. This is the sort of work which is aided by journaling, by spiritual reading, by taking good care of ourselves. This is the sort of work for which the spiritual practices we have offered over the last few months have been presented.

Do you have someone in your life whom you trust? Would you consider going to them and asking them to give you permission to just be yourself? I have found that to be an incredibly freeing experience and cherished conversation. The person of whom you ask this needs to be someone who knows you well, someone you know well and trust. The person needs to be someone to whom you listen and take what they say to heart.

It is so important to work out what works for us, whether it is the way in which we behave, the way in which we carry out our caregiving responsibilities, or the way in which we spend time with and get fed by God. The only way we can begin that work is to be ourselves. God has created each of us beautiful, loving, compassionate daughters and sons. God created us in God’s image: a powerful, spiritual being. God who knit us together in our mother’s womb. It is God’s expectations for our behavior, our experience of ourselves as caregivers; and the thoughts of those we trust which matter most.

Being and doing what God has created us to be and do brings a deep joy into our lives. A joy which sustains us in times of crisis. A joy which buoys us in times of sadness. A joy which shines forth from us to give light unto the World.

Be yourself! Trust God to let you know when you need to change. Have faith in your abilities!

Paying Attention

Paying attention. In today's world, we are challenged at times to pay attention for very long to anything. With all of our electronic devices interrupting us whenever; with 24-hour news availability from all over the world; with never-ending stimuli from any number of arenas, when do we find the time to stop and look and listen to where we are at any given moment?

My entire life has been structured around the need for me to pay attention, close attention, to what was going on around me, being said to me. I'm finding that my experience of being required to pay such close attention has been a gift in my adult life. I see things, hear things that others miss.

Being capable of paying attention is essential to spiritual growth. Spiritual growth is quiet. Spiritual growth is generally very slow going. Spiritual growth is never flashy. So, only through paying close attention to what God is doing in my life am I able to respond, to truly engage in the growth and the fruit of that growth.

One of my favorite results of paying attention is when I pray. When I pray and I go all "still and quiet" on the inside, I pay attention to what I hear; what I feel; what my heart takes note of. Paying attention in prayer is necessary if we ever want to see the answer. Sometimes, by paying attention in prayer, we realize that we are the answer.

Paying attention, realizing we are the answer to a prayer...those are sometimes very hard and scary things. Yet, isn't it wonderful that God has given us the faith to be a miracle? I find that worthy of paying attention. That idea makes my heart sing, makes the words "take me, mold me, fill me, use me" come to mind.