We're back. Our trip was fantastic, relaxing, exhausting, and (a new sensation) settling. With all of the intense scrutiny I've been giving my head and heart lately, it was nice to feel a kind of settling down -- kinda like the game Tetrus -- all the blocks falling into place. It's a very peaceful feeling.
Of course, immediately upon our return, I jumped into my PTA obligations, my church obligations, etc., but throughout the hustle and bustle, there was peace and a knowing that I could handle what I had to do. It was good.
During my vacation, and since we've been home, I've been reflecting on just how much God will take of our burden if we give it up. That's the difficult part for me personally -- surrendering. That's a scary word for me. It brings up images of giving away control and not being able to get it back. With God, however, I can take back what I want, if I want. That's the incredible beauty and freedom of having a loving, intimate relationship with God.
That's also the incredible beauty and freedom of having a loving, intimate relationship with another human being! What I have found just this week is that my beloved doesn't understand what the big deal is, why I'm so anxious about this change in my life. It came down to my trouble giving up, surrendering control over the petty little things like cleaning the house, cooking, doing the laundry -- all of those things which have pretty much been my purview during our marriage and now are things which I will have to accept help with. Oooo...that is difficult. But, ultimately, knowing that attitude exists is freeing to me. Acknowledging that attitude means that what I'm doing is "okay". WOW! That's wonderful.
So, the next time I feel so stressed out, I'll take the time to look at why. Is there something I can let go of, let God, or my beloved, take off my plate?
Peace!
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