Tough Questions

Where does Alzheimer's disease leave its victim when death approaches?

There are many questions family members have when their loved one is lying in a bed, incapable of communication. Questions arise about their loved one's spiritual life, their relationship with God, what will happen when they die? Will their loved one "know where to go?" Questions which might sound odd now, but which create quite an ache in a family's heart.

A friend of mine's mother is in hospice care. Currently, she's "negotiating" her exit strategy, at least that's what I call it. My friend called me wanting to check in and let me know how things were progressing. As we kept talking, we got to the crux of the matter. Her mom has Alzheimer's disease and my friend was worried about whether her mother would know where to go. Now, my own mother died from complications of Alzheimer's disease. Yet, that was one question that didn't come up for me.

I answered my friend with an absolute yes! her mother would know where to go. That Alzheimer's disease is a condition of the mind, not the soul. That God had never forgotten her mother and knew right where she was. That her mother had never forgotten God and was simply "working it out."

That place in our minds where our knowledge of God resides survives the devastation of plaques and tangles. Songs and familiar scripture passages wend their way through the damaged brain, and make it in one piece to that spiritual place. It is an amazing experience to share in worship with folks who for days or months haven't spoken a single intelligible word then to hear them sing a song or speak out scripture passages.

To me, this speaks volumes about the ability of our spirit to stay in relationship with God regardless of what our brain is capable of doing. To me this says a lot about the steadfast faithfulness of our God. To me, this is a reminder of God's love and how we can always trust it to prevail.

I'm glad my friend asked me a tough question. I'm also glad that God gave me an absolute answer to offer her. God is good. All the time.

God's Sky Crane

Have you ever felt like you were being lifted out of a mess by a huge crane? I think of what the construction industry terms "sky cranes" and imagine God being one of those in a spiritual sense. In my previous post, I shared some of my angst lately and I must admit that over the last couple of days God has been sending me helpers, clarifiers, providers of perspective. The funny thing is though I had to be at a place where I would receive those God sent.

Funny that . . . having to be receptive.

What is the key to being receptive? Is being receptive in and of itself a gift from God? I tend to think of the love of God, revealed most fully in Christ, as being the "key." If we choose to take that love into our hearts and souls and minds, does that make us receptive to whatever God wants of us? Isn't taking that love into our hearts a prerequisite for baptism? For when we take that love into our hearts, we submit ourselves to a relationship with Christ. We acknowledge our debt. We make a statement that we are in Christ and Christ is in us.

Baptism has been on my mind a lot lately and the profound nature of its gift. Baptism is an outward sign of an inward receptiveness to God's Love in the World . . . Jesus Christ. We are one with Christ in his death and his resurrection in our baptism. We receive our most intimate visit with the Holy Spirit at our baptism. It is through this visit with the Holy Spirit that we receive our gifts, our call, the purpose of our new life in Christ. We can begin to see the purpose of our lives to this point. We begin to recognize the power and mercy of the Sustainer and Comforter as made known to us. An imprint of that power and mercy is left within our soul. Why? So that when God calls us to be a part of that sky crane, to help pull someone out of a quagmire of doubt and worry and disappointment, we recognize that part of God within that gives us the ability, the words, the arms and shoulders with which to do such compassionate work.

And, it all revolves around being receptive.

Difficult Patch

I began writing this blog to share my experiences along the way on my spiritual journey.

Pretty much, I've been able to find something positive in the experiences I've had however difficult or uncomfortable. Yet recently I've hit a very rough patch. Using the vocabulary of path talk, I'm stuck in an area of steep scary hills and dark valleys and twisting, confusing trails taking me far from my clear path.

What is going on?

I really don't like feeling the way I do right now. Antsy, uncomfortable, foggy, guilty, angry, confused, disappointed . . . any more yucky adjectives out there? Oh yeah, incompetent. Yep, that's a big one. Oh and the whole "imposter" thing of "being found out." Wow, that's old stuff. It's like all of my very old, stinky, crusty baggage is being pulled out of the forgotten closets and off the deep dark shelves where it's been hidden way back in the back of beyond.

This brings to mind so many Psalms and the flow of many of the plaintive Psalms that moves from complaint and fear and loathing to reassurance and trust and love. I believe I'm in that first part. Hopefully, time spent in prayers of thanksgiving, petition, and confession will perhaps help me move along in the forward direction toward reassurance of God's grace in my life, toward renewing my trust in God being the captain of my passage, and most of all, toward the love of Christ which I hold in my heart.

All of that being said, where does this leave evil? A good friend of mine has been known to remind me of my being tested occasionally. Not being tested by God. No. Rather by the evil in the world. Is that what this is about? If so, I feel as though I have failed miserably and that evil is pretty happy right now. But how do I really feel about the whole evil thing? I guess I'm sort of in denial that the evil in the world can and does go after us sometimes. Especially when we are, perhaps, sailing along quite happily. I know from experience that it's when we're sailing along quite happily that our defenses drop (i.e., our spiritual disciplines), and we become vulnerable. Is that what has happened here?

So, in addition to spending quite a bit of time in prayer, I need to take time to inventory my recent disciplines. Hmm.....that's another uncomfortable thing to do.

Yep. Time of prayer. Time for prayer.