A powerful, thought-provoking insight....

Give me a well-trained tongue that has been borne out of silent listening in the sanctuary of my heart.

~ sevensacredpauses by Macrina Wiederkehr

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Dawning Realizations, Lessons in Gentleness

All along the journeys of my lifetime, there have been times when I have had a remarkable perception of exactly what just happened.  You know, that face palm thing, the holy 2x4, the dawning of a realization that shocks the system. 

The last two weeks have seen a series of those realizations hit me square between the eyes, the shoulderblades -- you get the idea.  What happens when that happens is important!  Sometimes, I act on the new realization (not always a good idea), sometimes I reflect on that new "aha" (most of the time a good idea), and sometimes -- just sometimes -- I choose to ignore the realization (never a real good idea).

When I'm waiting (oh so impatiently) for things, people, opportunities to fall into place, for the ability to "see" the next thing, if I ignore a realization of what's gone before, of what's happening now, I miss an important lesson, an opportunity to learn about myself and those around me.  However, sometimes, the realization that hits me so square between the eyes is a painful one, even perhaps a humiliating one. 

As that realization hits home -- that painful or especially humiliating one -- the lesson before me to learn is one of gentleness.  I have a very hard time with that.  Being gentle with myself, my faults (many), my failures (often) does not come naturally to me.

I have help with these lessons.  My husband and family.  My therapist.  My friends.  My faith.

My husband and family love me constantly.  Yes, they get mad at me, disappointed in me, want to get away from me and my craziness at times -- but love me, they do.  There is a wonderful safety net in that.  If I have to go hole up in the bedroom with my journal, they'll let me.  This is good.  If hugs are needed and snuggles, they're there right beside me.  I am so fortunate.

My therapist.  Need I say more?

My friends.  My friends give me grief.  Push back is the newest buzz word/phrase.  My friends push back at my self-pity, at my self-doubts, at my self-anger and frustration.  They see a "me" that's different than the one I usually experience.  Friends give me balance.

My faith?  Well, my faith sustains me.  My faith is simple.  I know I am not alone.  I am surrounded at all times and in all places and circumstances by the love of a Creating Force.  Period.  That Creating Force is a part of me, you, my family, my friends, the entire world.

In my opinion, in my faith, that Creating Force is what reveals those realizations to me in the first place.  So, it makes sense that the beautiful strength, gentle strength of that Creating Force, revealed in my family, my friends, my therapist, my faith will see me through.  It makes sense that what is revealed by that Creating Force will help me grow more and more into the soul, the spirit I am meant to be.

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