Balance

I feel like I am on a teeter-totter.  Or perhaps I've become a bungee cord.  In any event, I am experiencing a now familiar sensation of being pulled in two directions.  Ministry ~ Family.  "Family" encompasses the kids' schooltime activities, the housewifely things I do around the house, my husband's needs, my own needs, my desire to help with the big Christmas tree project at church.  Then there's the "Ministry" work which encompasses the monthly newsletter we publish and a whole bucket full of phone calls and visits I want to make.

Balance.  What do I make of that?  That becomes my prayer frequently: "Dear God, please help me find balance.  Make it plain what I need to be doing when I need to be doing it."  Yeah.  Pretty straightforward and sort of lazy.  I mean.  Really.  God has a giant flashlight and is going to very obviously light my (and only my) way through the maze of my life.  Yeah.

I have to be honest here.  Yes, that prayer I just shared is one I pray frequently.  However, it is also a prayer that rarely gets answered in a straightforward way.  God expects me to do the heavy lifting with most of the prayers I pray that are like that one.  No surprise.  The best indication of whether I'm doing what God expects of me is how I feel in my heart.  If what I'm doing is weighing heavily, then I need to be doing something else.  Something else which brings joy and happiness into my heart.  The other stuff can either wait or someone else (wow) will do it.

The realization that everything (yes, everything) I have in my life is from God helps me with trusting God.  God makes everything Good.  So, God wants me to have a good life with my family.  God wants me to find fulfillment in the ministry I do.  God has given me a wise and discerning heart for a reason.

I need to remember that and allow it to be the determining factor in my teeter-tottering/bungee cord existence.