Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Watching Kids Grow
My son is 11. He is at an age where he seems to be changing every day. It's an incredible experience being in the same house with him. Don't get me wrong; he still can really push my buttons, refuse to do his chores, and keep his room a mess, but . . . He's moving on to middle school in the fall and I have to admit to some mommy blues. How did this happen?
My son is 11. He is on his own spiritual journey. I find it an awesome thing to behold. The questions he asks -- those that are on his face but he doesn't put into words . . . yet. It's an amazing, wonderful, abundantly miraculous thing that God is doing.
What gives me the mommy blues sometimes is when I wonder what my son is being prepared for . . . because each of us, throughout our lives, are prepared for what God wants of us. God lets nothing go to waste, not a single experience. God will find a way to use it. So . . . what is my son being prepared for, what does God have in mind? I look at all 11 years of his life and see so much loss and sadness already. I see very deep emotions and a sense of right and wrong. I see an ability to entertain babies and exude deep joy and happiness while doing so. What does God have in mind?
Just recently I've really begun to realize just how wontonly God loves us. Extravagantly. Part of what brings tears to my eyes when I watch my son's journey is the knowing that my God loves him that way, too. Is God crying tears of bittersweet emotion as he watches our children grow up? Our mothering/fathering God of tenderness and mercy, faithfulness and justice . . . I think so. I hope so. The idea helps me when I get the weepy mommy blues to know that I'm not alone. That is the Comforter!
I'm so happy that summer break is almost upon us. I'm looking forward to unstructured time with both my kids this summer. To watch and to learn what I can from them. To watch and learn what they experience of God maybe. We'll see.