A powerful, thought-provoking insight....

Give me a well-trained tongue that has been borne out of silent listening in the sanctuary of my heart.

~ sevensacredpauses by Macrina Wiederkehr

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Mountains and Molehills

As I was doing some of my preparatory reading for a class on forgiveness, I was reflecting on a chapter that dealt with dwelling on hurts, insults, etc. The thought was that if we dwell on the incident, we have a tendency to blow it up out of proportion, to enlarge insignificant details or to gather insignificant details from assorted interactions and combine them to create an additional problem. In that line of thinking, what does that sort of habit do to our relationships?

Is it easier to deal with small, insignificant issues as they come up or with large, now painful issues that develop over time? My vote is for small, insignificant issues! However, ever notice just how hard that is? I think I "let things go" .... yet, eventually, I explode. So obviously, I haven't let them go, right? It is possible to develop the habit of letting go. I've heard time and again the expression "let go and let God". Well, that's what this process is all about.

Yet, I get hung up on telling God the small, insignificant issues that come up. Why? Because they seem small and insignificant and I feel petty if I take them to God. Well, God can hear that. God wired the human brain in amazing ways. So, God knows how I accumulate hurts. What God offers is the opportunity to let go of those molehill hurts before they amount to a mountain.

In thinking about how to "let go and let God", I've been practicing sitting with my feelings, my reactions to events and people. That, in itself, is very difficult for me. I am a "feeler" and feel my way through my day. So, as I have been practicing sitting with my feelings, I am also practicing "tracing" those feelings back to the source. Why am I feeling this way? Is it pointing to something within me that I need to be aware of? That I might need to address/work on? If I follow that feeling deep enough, perhaps I'll find God at the middle, in my soul, gleaming with answers.

As a Disciples of Christ, I celebrate communion every Sunday. I receive the food necessary to gain the strength needed with which to resolve my disputes, with which to address these seemingly small, insignificant issues. Each time I eat the Bread and drink the Cup, I receive the most precious Gift God has offered creation. Each time I receive that Gift, I receive a fresh dose, a fresh reminder of the forgiveness of God through Christ. I can take that gift and share it with someone with whom I am having issues. I look at that gift of forgiveness and think perhaps that's the way I can sit with my feelings -- in a "cloud" of forgiveness. It may make it easier to not react, to give some time for things to settle. It might make it easier to address molehills with folks instead of waiting for mountains to develop. I'm practicing!

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